Confessions of an (ex) Shopaholic

It always amazes me how some people are constantly complaining about never having enough money
(i.e.: Chronic Spenders), but yet always seem to run off and spend every cent of their salaries within the first week!!!

Let me give you some history about my personal experience with this specific disorder…

My first ever immersion into the "I blast my salary” club, was when I first moved to this small city/large town. I was earning quite decent money at the time and at 19 years old, the freedom of having all this hard earned cash to spend consumed me, especially the first two weeks of the month (after that the need died... followed with serious regret).
Within this time I had paid my rent (my only expense) and spent my entire salary!!!!!!!!!!!!! (At the time I did not have a fridge or freezer to store food, so take-out was pretty much my staple diet – which requires cash to eat).
While I was merrily having fun partying, eating, shopping, etc., I had somehow over looked the fact that the money could actually run out. I mean like Philele (Xhosa for “all gone”), finished...kaput... nada…until next payday.
2 weeks into the month, I was broke.

Living in a new town where I didn't know many people, no family around to help out. I was confused about where my money went, as well as hungry.
So I decided to pray, asking God to forgive my foolishness and please provide me with food - whereafter new friends miraculously invited me to dinners, colleagues purchased me lunches, etc.... Absolutely amazing memoriesJ

But after that, I realised that I seriously needed to manage my finances properly, so I started a (wait for it)… BUDGET!!!
So something that had previously only existed in my school accounting books is now a very important part of my survival (physical, emotional and mental survival that is).

So back to my comment about chronic spenders...

· Definition - "Chronic Spenders":

People who have more than enough money to pay rent, purchase food, afford a car, petrol, etc., but yet feel to need to spend an enormous amount of money to fulfil the emptiness inside themselves, an excuse to remove their boredom. These people can usually be spotted by their inability to say no to a "good deal".
 

· Definition - "Good Deal":

Something "packaged" as a bargain to entice you and make your feel that you are getting something for such a good price that it is stupid to not succumb, but yet it is causing the individual to purchase something that they don't actually need.

Don’t get me wrong. I'm not personally attacking these people. It’s their choice to waste their money. But these are usually the ones complaining non-stop about how bad their salaries are and how they can't even afford to support their families, etc., etc. - but yet they are always going out shopping and always full of stories about the "bargains" they purchased…

I used to be one of them... I’m still a chronic shopping addict. Therefore my solution is to avoid shops at all costs unless absolutely necessary.

I have always had a MAJOR problem with debt as my father happened to be one of those people who opened accounts everywhere and then couldn't afford to pay them... so the idea of getting an account really didn't faze me, until I tried to get a cell phone contract and a lease agreement in my name and was told that I didn't have any credit record or rating and therefore couldn't apply. WAHHHHHHHTTTT!!!

So now we have to have debt to get debt. Anyhoooooooo, I fell into the trap of opening a clothing account at this store that has THE MOST divine clothing, shoes, perfumes, etc.
And then I opened another one at a less exclusive store, and another, and another. Eventually I was spending a third of my salary on clothing accounts and credit cards, paying off things (who knows that they were...) that I no longer even used.
And because I didn't have to "pay" for it now, mostly it was Impulse shopping.

· Definition - "Impulse Shopping":

Something that we woman love to do... it starts with the entering of the temptation phase (shopping mall), which then flirts with us... those little signs saying SALE... they call us.... they beg us to enter...... we take the bait and think, "why not, I mean it’s a sale?" and as we walk through those doors, we no longer have control of what we are doing... the urge to have is too great, we no longer care, all that matters is to beat the other woman to the best sale items - the rushed panicky feeling of "Get whatever you can, whatever fits", followed by the disastrous time in the changing rooms! (I have to interrupt myself here - my advice to all clothing retailers is to have spacious, luxurious, flattering lighting, air conditioners, soothing music and plenty of space for hangers in your changing rooms. I mean this is the place we decide to purchase your products - yet there are certain stores that have hot, stinky, dirty, VERY BIASED mirrors... way to put a girl off spending her money).

After this highly emotionally draining experience, we end up purchasing the "best looking" items because we have to buy something, surely!
The depression following all those pants that wouldn't zip closed, pushes us to go and grab some comfort food - because we deserve it - I mean all that exercise, whew!!!!
A month later - these items are still sitting in the cupboard with the tags on... and every time we try them on, we're immediately start self-critising, with the “OOOhhhhh my body is so awkward”, “I wish my butt wasn’t so big”, “I can't fit into anything” “Nothing looks nice on me”! (It’s actually the clothes that are awkward and that weren’t designed specifically for us... but yet they never get the blame… strange – hmm maybe an inspiring idea for another post!)
So getting back to the main topic at hand, I finally managed to squash my accounts and credit cards and now my salary belongs to me and my savings account :)

But yet I look around and see people purchasing Tupperware they don't need, Meat that won't even fit into their freezer, Avon Make up (that no one wears because its crap, no offense), all because it was pay day. And after the dry spell of not having money for the past two weeks, we convince ourselves that we "deserve" to spend some money... it’s a vicious cycle.

Do I enjoy depriving myself?
Well no, it’s not easy... but my philosophy is that if I don't see it, I don't need it!
If I do see it and like it, I wait a few days and if I'm still thinking about it, then clearly it was memorable enough to justify being purchased.
Believe me, when I do buy something now... I enjoy it for a lot more than I used to. The satisfaction I get is so immense (kind-of like that sneaky burger during a diet).

I've realised that buying things doesn't bring me happiness, or fulfil any empty void inside of me. Only God does that. Only my family and friends can bring me laughter and joy:)
And maybe… a new pair of shoes… every few months... hehe ;)

On a serious note - something to consider - Country debt and what that means for society:
Whoever holds the debtors books holds the power...