"The less you have, the more free you shall be".
Step 1 - The realisation
Initially I had no idea how it was going to be at all possible to make such drastic changes in life. It started with the initial spring clean / de-cluttering. About 2 days and 10 black bags later.. I felt so much lighter. And I realised how much stuff we keep.. why do I need to keep that old birthday card from 8 years ago?
Step 2: Simplify
I moved into a fully furnished place in January, intentionally not taking anything with me besides a few necessities, trinkets and clothes.
Step 3: Look on the inside
What I truly yearned for though was a complete minimalist life, not just based on the material. I needed to declutter my mind and pain body, as they had been in control of my decisions for so many years, that I wanted to experience just me. I wanted to have an energy declutter of sorts. Without the past or future. Just me in the present. A moment to breath. And feel life around me. And I started meditating to quiet my mind and live in each moment. Practice, practice, practice.. Still WIP.. but significant progress has been made :)
Step 4: Have a more meaningful life
This one is usually a bit difficult. It means having a smaller social life. When emerged in society, I felt so much pressure to attend wine evenings, girls nights, all the social events that i couldn't not attend (for what?), the babyshowers, the birthday parties, the bachelorette evenings.. so.. I would put a smile on my face, listen to peoples worries and gripes and conversations, adding in where it was expected, listen to the gossip and try to not get sucked in by the meanies, and every now and then I would bravely open up the conversation to something I found interesting, and more often than not would have to swallow the rejection of the "oh there you go all deep again", respond with a smile and change the subject back to who got drunk, who slept with who, whose bitching about who.. and so on.
So much energy to put on that smile and listen to the social problems experienced by the suburban elitist middle class - all so that I could try and fit in. Boys are said to be easier.. not so much in lil ol surburbia.
In order to have a more meaningful life, you have to start saying no to attending events, start doing what you really want to do - such as spending time with people who spirtutally filfull you.
Please understand, this is not about anything that is wrong with how certain people choose to live their lives, but sometimes you come the realisation that the 8-5 surburbian status / image / popularity contest / materialistic life that people strive towards in South Africa is just clutter. None of it really matters. And you cannot truly be yourself when you are surrounded by the consumeristic facade that is portrayed as "individualism". Who you surround yourself with is who you become. If you need more and are feeling unfifilled, and have to use substances to fit in and socialise, something is wrong. Because nobody is better than anybody else. We are all just spirits having a human experience. Its just that simple.
And I look around today, and I am blessed. My social life faded away immediately. The second you no longer confirm to a suburban click, you are outed. Similar to cults. Growing up in one I know the feeling. While it hurt terribly in the beginning knowing that I had become the primary focus of people'e ego, the valuable lesson I learned through meditation allowed me to not focus on the pain body so much. It allowed me to accept the past as previous "now" moments, and not to overthink the future. The blessing is that a smaller social life means more time for me.. it allowed me time for meditation, time to spend time outdoors, time to focus on my interests, and the time to build closer friendships with fewer people rather than spending so much time in large social groups where no real connection existed for me.
What freedom!!!
And it dawned on me .. again.. just a little recap refresher on how putting out a spiritual need for a minimalist life can manifest itself in ways that you could not even fathom.
Just as we try to quiet our mind and pain body to get in touch with that inner peace,
It is so important to quiet our external environment.
Too big of a social group, too many appointments, too much stuff, too many cars, too much... its just too much!!!
I have realised:
The less you have, the more you are free
The less you need, more grateful are you
The less you want equates to a sense of freedom and peace within yourself.
Much love :)
Much love :)
